Tommy Kende

You don't need
to be better.
You need to
remember who
you are.

I work with people who have built good lives and lost themselves somewhere along the way. Through coaching, speaking, and honest conversations on my podcast Life, Dilemmas & Dad Stuff — I help them find their way back. Not to a better version. To the real one.

Coach  ·  Podcast Host  ·  Speaker Former musician. Father. Obsessed with why people lose themselves.
Book a free call 15 minutes. No pitch. Or start with the podcast ↓
Tommy Kende

You know the feeling.

It's not a crisis. It's more of a slow drift.

You've been a parent for two years and somewhere in the beautiful, relentless chaos of it, you've completely lost track of what you used to care about.

Or you're in a relationship that's technically fine. And that word — fine — is somehow making everything worse.

Or you've hit a certain age and realised, quietly, that the version of your life you're living was designed mostly for other people's expectations of you.

Or you lie awake running the same three thoughts on rotation. Not anxious exactly. Just — unresolved. Like you're carrying something you can't quite put down and can't quite name.

Or you've done the therapy. Built the habits. Done the work. And you still feel like the real problem is one layer deeper than anything you've managed to reach.

These aren't signs you're broken.
They're signs you've drifted from yourself.
And that drift can be reversed.

"
I came in talking about my career. Three sessions later we were talking about my father. I still don't know exactly how that happened. But it was the most useful thing I've done in years.

— Coaching client

I walked away from a music career in Hollywood to figure out who I actually was.
It took a while.

I'm Tommy Kende. I spent years building a version of success that looked exactly the way success is supposed to look — and couldn't find myself inside it. So I walked away, went deep into what actually makes people tick, and spent the next decade learning how people drift from themselves, why they stay drifted, and what it takes to find their way back.

(The music career reaching the US Top 40 first — that part I don't regret. The timing was just wrong for the person I was trying to find.)

I do that work through coaching, through my podcast Life, Dilemmas & Dad Stuff, through speaking and workshops. The thread running through all of it:

Helping people remember who they are.

I'm also a father — which has tested every theory I've ever held about myself more thoroughly than anything else I've encountered. It's also given me more material than I know what to do with.

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Tommy Kende
Tommy Kende
Tommy Kende — available for a 15-minute call

The first step is just
a conversation.

No intake form. No pitch. You tell me what's going on. I ask questions. We figure out together whether working together makes sense.

Most people leave the first call feeling clearer about their situation than when they arrived.

I'll be the one on the other end of the call.

Book a free call 15 minutes  ·  No commitment  ·  No pitch
Tommy Kende
The Podcast

Honest conversations about the messy parts of being a person — relationships, fatherhood, identity, and the ongoing project of figuring out who you actually are.

Life, Dilemmas & Dad Stuff

Real conversations about the stuff that doesn't usually make it into polished self-help content. Some episodes are conversations with people who've been through something extraordinary. Some are just me, thinking out loud about something I haven't figured out yet.

New episodes regularly. No scripts. No sponsor reads for a productivity app you'll never use.

Life, Dilemmas & Dad Stuff

Tommy Kende

Life, Dilemmas & Dad Stuff

Available on all platforms

Apple Podcasts Spotify YouTube
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Tommy's Notes

When I have something worth saying that doesn't fit into a podcast or a session — something I'm working through, something I've noticed, something that won't leave me alone — it goes here. Not on a schedule. Not to a content calendar.

From a recent note

"The version of you that everyone else needs you to be is not the problem. The problem is when you've been playing that version for so long that you've forgotten it's a role."

Just when it's ready. If you want it when it lands —

No spam. Just Tommy's Notes, when there's something worth saying.
Speaking & Workshops

Most rooms are waiting for someone to say the thing everyone's thinking.
That's the talk I try to give.

I speak to companies, teams and events on the things that are genuinely affecting the humans in the room — identity under pressure, what happens when people stop recognising themselves, how to have the conversations everyone is avoiding.

Not a keynote they'll forget by Thursday. A conversation that moves something.

Corporate teams Leadership conferences Personal development events
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Tommy Kende speaking